Thursday, October 6, 2011

Oh I'm sorry I didn't see you there...

So these blogs are either working because I have a lot less to bitch about or things have been going very well. So it should come as no surprise that i don't update here as much as before. the last time I intended to right a thrilling piece on affirmations and how irritating they are to the general public i kinda lost myself a bit but I think I found a direction. I also wanna take a moment to respond indirectly to an issue that bothers me.

The issue bothering me is for my good friend Samantha. She was recently sucker punched by someone she knew when she asked them for some feedback on an audition. Rather than get constructive criticism on her pieces she got a basic character assassination. He basically told her without going into to much detail that she reeked of desperation and that no one he knew would ever want to work with her.

Now I am not usually the type to get up and arms over something so trivial and that can be easily gotten over by Samantha she is after all a strong woman who knows what she wants and goes after it which is more than I can say for most people. But because I am feeling that battery acid taste in my mouth when I think about it I have to say something. I won't name the offender but what I will say in defense of my friend is that the man who said this steaming bowl of shit is somewhat talented in his field of musical theatre but he is no more than that.

I have worked with the individual in question and count that experience as the absolute worst piece of shit show I was ever duped into doing.I didn't even audition for it. i did it as a favor to a friend and it turned out to suck more ass than a felching convention. I have also worked with Samantha before and to make a long story short i knew this woman would be a powerhouse and make me look awesome when i auditioned with her. That show was also one I didn't have much interest in doing and it turned out to be one of the shows I am most proud of. so fuck this man, for thinking he had any opinion worth knowing. and shame (just a little) on Samantha for holding such a slug fucker in any regard other than someone who isn't suited to be in an audience much less direct anything.


On to my thoughts about the affirmation. People seem to think that if they repeat these daily life lessons that they will either come true or help realize something about themselves that is already true. In reality I have no problem with this. the girl who is fat and looks at herself in the mirror everyday and forces herself to say that she is beautiful when she really believes she isn't, she is undeserving of my ire because she is beautiful she just needs to convince herself of it. The person who strives to make the best out of every day they can and tells themselves everything will be great today, in spite of how much it isn't, they too don't deserve to be cursed at by me.

I will tell you who I will curse at. And it seems to be the same type of person I always yell at...

Its the ones who feel the need to tell me their words of inspiration.

First off you fuckers who spread this tasteless margarine bullshit of feelgood crap because you liked the way it sounded, and god knows where it originated, most likely some fucking greeting card, can go suck on  dead rotten animal uterus. Then you write it on your social media page of choice as if you were the fucking Dali lama. And its always something about telling your loved ones how you feel before your dead or living for today because tomorrow may not be here. And to that I say, you people are fucking depressing. You are so consumed with death that you feel the need to guilt me into making sure I tell everyone I know, how I feel in case I'm dead the next day.

How about writing something that really helps someone. How about saying something that doesn't sound like the last fucking get well card or the thing you saw on a power point presentation at your last fucking sensitivity training. How about helping individuals with their issues instead of quoting a poster at me that had a fucking picture of a fucking kitten in a fucking wine glass that was oh so god damned cute you just had to have it on your cubicle wall to distract you from the fact that truly your life sucks and no amount of bullshit cheesy catchphrases will take the place of taking an action to changing that sad fucking fact.

Maybe instead of telling yourself to live for the moment you actually fucking do it. Realize that living in the moment is all you can do because if it were possible to live at a different time then time wouldn't fucking exist. All that exists is now and if it takes you telling yourself that every morning then you should still be writing with crayons, using the safety scissors and be able to tell me the difference in taste between Elmer's and the store brand pastes.

I have no respect for anything that doesn't affect change. And your words of "wisdom" mean nothing if you don't see that doing it and living it and leading by example are better ways to affect change rather than writing down something and putting it out there for people to ignore. Because its the same shit over and over again. And without originality or the proper audience you wasting your breath.

To be honest this topic came up when a facebook friend who shall remain nameless posted one of these bland quotes to live by and I just couldn't get it out of my head at how trivial it was. it made the person, in my eyes,  look stupid and everyone who clicked the word "like" seemed like a mindless zombie. But maybe I'm the asshole. Maybe I am the one needs a healthy dose of feelgood propaganda. But that's all it is...


No quote or affirmation is going to be true for absolutely everyone. The world is to diverse for that. And I guess what bothers me is that in this world that is so beautiful in the complexity and simplicity paradox that makes up our lives, to try and boil everything down to a few simple truths is just limiting your way of thinking. You are imposing rules that are just as harmful as parents teaching their children to hate. It's insulting that anyone would think that a generalized statement works for the whole world and everyone in it.

So in summation, find your own truths. live them. and don't be so fucking arrogant as to think that your lessons work for anyone but you. The simple truth is that you can't solve anything by throwing words at it. You have to know it and you have to live it as truth. regardless of what anyone thinks.

The great thinkers and speakers of our times, when quoted, are inspirational but I guarantee when they said it they knew that no one would truly learn those lessons from them. They would learn it on their own, from their own experience. Not because they read it in a fucking book somewhere.

With deep and abiding affection,