Don't ask, Fuck you.

I am not in the military and never have even desired to choose that path. Both my father and brother have served in the navy. My brother still currently does. Despite those facts I know almost nothing about what it takes to serve our country. I know that it is a job that is currently beyond me, and always has been.

However, there are those who have the ability and the drive to take on such a task. And some of them like to fuck members of the same sex. Now it seems to me that we should let these people in and serve. Without judging them their predilections. Because a person who wants to serve their country is beyond such judgements. They carry in them a desire that demands them to risk their life for others like me who cannot. That sort of selfless nature is beyond judgement. You cannot hate a person who will protect the rights of someone they don't know, without question.

Now the Don't ask, Don't tell policy was monumental when it came about. Of course, it is a flawed fucking argument, but the steps to change can't be perfect right away. Compromise is sloppy and takes time. But now we have reached the point where real change can occur and the government in its wisdom went into their voting hall and as they were just about to make change apparently slipped and accidentally put their head up their fucking asses. Again.

This is America you fucking cockholes! The document that declared our freedom stated that we are all fucking equal, and these people cant seem to interpret that statement. People have a fundamental right to pursue the life they want whether that means owning guns or fucking a member of the same sex. Those rights are absolute.

But we are stuck because the people in power put a  premium on political posturing and maneuvering. They continue to fuck us with their mind games and bullshit  tactics. I am sorry but the word freedom has only one definition.and while I may not fundamentally agree with the choices some make I am not allowed to make those decisions for them. The government is supposed to do everything it can to protect us. All it is doing now is keeping a catchphrase in place that allows for the thinning of the ranks and subsequently the weakening of our protection.

I don't fucking care what mind numbing fucking excuse you have against gays! That is an argument for another time. All I am saying right now is that our government is hurting us. And they need to fucking fix it. They need to fucking fix the policies that make us weaker and stop parading around like fucking peacocks so they can get elected next term.

With deep and abiding affection,
Gabriel

For your consideration.

I am going to tell you two stories from this weekend that will seem not to have anything to do with each other but watch as I make them one topic.

On Friday there was a news report that it was national punctuation day. Already I could feel myself tightening up but stick with me. They suggested that the proper way to celebrate national useless fucking holiday for a piece of shit reason was to go into stores and places of business and correct the owner on punctuation on their signs. I pictured a lot of people getting punched that day. A lot of self serving pricks with a smug sense of superiority because they knew the proper use of a comma. Fuck you people. I may not be the best at punctuation(in fact i am probably one of the worst.) but what gives you the right to pick a day and choose to be a smug asshole to others for some arbitrary reason?

On Saturday I was at work going for a ride with my clients in the company van. We were low on gas and had to stop to fill the tank. Now the gas station was at a standstill so i chose a place to be and waited for the guy in front of me to pump his gas and get the fuck out of my way. We arrived at the gas station at 10:30 am. We left at 10:58 am. I obviously chose wrong as I watched a 900 year old fuckbucket put the nozzle in his gas tank, go inside the store., hang out in there for 10 minutes, come back and write a note on a pad of paper, pull nozzle out of car, look at pump and press the button, put nozzle back in car, pump gas, put nozzle away, get in car, write another note on his pad of paper, and pull away. When I got to the pump he had pumped $5 of gas. $5 fucking dollars! 20 minutes of my life were now gone because a 900 year old man has a system.

What is it that makes people not consider others? The answer is 2 things. Smug sense of superiority and obliviousness. It really isnt stupidity. I can fucking forgive stupidity. When you do everything you actively can to piss off other people or don't give enough of a shit to look at your surroundings, and realize their are other people in this world. That is what makes me crazy.

I really cannot decide which I hate more. Because on the one hand, if you think you are better than everyone you are at least aware that others exist. You just choose to be a bitchmop rather than be a decent human being. Which is a totally fuckwad thing to do.

But on the other hand, if you are oblivious to others around you, you are treating others like shit and don't even care to look their way. You just sit there in your blissful fuckstick ignorance while everyone is forced to go around you.  You fucking useless bag of abortions!

I am not asking people to change. Just fucking think before you open your fucking face to chide someone for a no good reason. And to the oblivious: just fucking think period.

With deep and abiding affection,
Gabriel

Personal responsibilty. Try it sometime.

I used to be skinny. So skinny that people thought I was borderline unhealthy. But I walked everywhere. I ate anything I wanted and I walked about 6 miles a day. More exercise from dance classes and I was considerably healthy. Now, I own a car and I still eat what I want and I don't take dance classes and I am pudgy. You know whose fault that is? Mine. See that is an example of accepting responsibility for your own situation. You are all in situations like this and the only person who is ever responsible for the power to initiate change is YOU!

Let's abolish the fucking idea that others are to blame for your lot in life shall we? Others may be responsible for getting you there. But only you, keep yourself in that position. Only you accept your limitations and let them beat you down. And only you can start bucking that trend.

This is an era of lawsuits and placing blame everywhere you look. Politicians play the blame game. Corporations scapegoat each other or their employees. I would hope we would strive to be better than that. Unfortunately we don't.

We live in a fucking country where we need warnings on packages that are absolutely fucking ludicrous. I am aware I shouldn't use my hair dryer in the shower or while I am sleeping. Did I really need to be told that on the box? Apparently, because some dipshit tried it and set themself on fire somewhere and held the company responsible.

News flash: YOU SET YOURSELF ON FIRE DILDO SLIME! That is no ones fault but yours.

Here are some more things you should be aware of: fire is hot, water is wet, pointy things can cut you, and you are fucking stupid.

Now personal responsibility is always a factor. Even when the scenario isn't your fault. I may be accused of blaming the victim but at this point I don't care. Many people in this world have deep serious emotional and physical issues and are in need of help. Those people are blameless. UNLESS they refuse to get help. Then fuck 'em they are open to my derision. And they could honestly do me a favor and shut their fucking mouths.

Now some others have problems of a perceived nature (that don't exist) and they still do nothing about it. That is a double fuck you. I have no patience for you. If you are going to create a problem that isn't there and then do nothing to change it. That just spits in the face of everything that is decent. You aren't troubled, you're a fucking drama queen and you could use a kick in the head.

Look, life comes with disappointment and accidents and cruel motherfuckers everywhere you go. Somewhere along the way you are gonna get fucked in a place you don't want to be. Now that it's done. What are you gonna do about it? Are you gonna be a big sensitive pussy and cry in the corner? Are you gonna be an arrogant pisshead and sue somebody who had nothing to do with your unfortunate circumstance?

Or are you gonna be a noble human fucking being that stands up, dusts themself off, and finds a knowledgeable friend or therapist to talk to. If you are gonna pick one of the first 2 options then prepare for me to show up where you are, and break your back. If you're gonna act like a spineless turd I might as well fulfill your wish.

Here I am! Your pissed off genie. Ready to make your one wish of having to rely on everyone else for the rest of your life come true. If you are gonna hold us accountable for your fucked up existence, we might as well have that much power over you anyway.

With deep and abiding affection,
Gabriel

fuck family!

I love my family. My immediate family. I love my mom and dad. I love my brother and his family. I have a lot of love to give. Now having said that there is some extended family that I have, that I wish I could make disappear. I can probably count on one hand the number of people I have in my extended family who I would want to talk to. The rest can go fuck themselves. For any of them reading this, I will tell you why.

You don't know me. Blood is thicker than water in a scientific sense, but it means very little to me metaphorically. I don't give a fuck about you. Don't think that just because your blood you can ask anything of me.

I got a message the other day from an uncle of mine wanting to be friends on facebook saying that my grandmother wasn't doing well and they needed to get a message to my dad. I emailed the important message to those who might want it but said nothing else. Now, my father is estranged from most of his family including his parents and doesn't care to speak to a lot of them. The reasons behind this are too many to go into and I don't want to invade my fathers privacy anymore than I have to. (sorry dad if I already have, but this is about me, not you so I'm about to turn it around.)

My grandparents tried to have a relationship with me when I was in high school. They showed up out of the blue and I went to have dinner with them. I have never, at that time, heard anyone in my presence use the word nigger so many times. Not even black people. I chalked it up to being from a different era and thought I shouldn't make judgements. I might still be able to have a relationship with these people. I spoke to them on the phone a total of 3 times. Everytime we spoke my grandfather pleaded with me to bridge a gap between him and his son, my father. I was 17 years old. What the fuck was I supposed to do? Nevertheless I stupidly tried. Nothing came of it because you can't mend that sort of damage through sheer will alone.

Then it began to dawn on me that this old motherfucker was supposed to be getting to know me. ME! Not trying to reach someone else. He had no fucking interest in being my grandfather, he wanted to use me as a pawn. And consistently I begin to see throughout my life how my father became so distant from them. Because none of them wanted to have a relationship. They just wanted to know that they didn't screw up.

Well guess what fuckers. You screwed up. And you will continue to screw up. And I will not be used in any of your fucking games to validate yourselves. Fuck off. The next one of you assmonkeys that tries to use me as a messenger service you can go shove a loaded gun up your ass and pull the trigger.

I know I usually make these posts more generalized so that everyone can get on board. And some of this applies to you people as well. Family isn't that fucking sacred. Your family is made up of people and just like everyone else they have to earn respect and kindness and love by being a decent fucking human being. They don't just get a pass by virtue of similar DNA. I would work harder to make this a better argument for all of you but I needed this one to myself. Just to say, I have had enough.

I can't take it anymore. If you think I'm your friend just because you are family...think again. You don't know me. If you want to know me, make the effort. But don't assume you are gonna get a pass. I still may not give a shit about you. But at least in this regard I will tell you respectfully that I don't fucking care about you or your life, or what your problems are or who is fucking dying.

I am not a means to an end. I am a fucking human being who is worth treating with some fucking respect.

Just fuck off and leave me alone.

With deep and abiding affection
Gabriel

Family values? Really?

The term family values has to be a joke. It has to be. There is no other explanation for why such a term gets used the way it does. Why the American politician thinks that this is a phrase to bandy about like its a fucking gospel, I will never know. Other than the fact that the American public is fucking stupid and has no capacity for abstract thought and is easily scared by old guys who talk in stern tones about the country going to hell.

Let me make my point right off the bat on this. Family values and "the American family" do not exist. It's stupid bullshit used to terrorize a nation. The idea that there is a specific formula that makes a family work is ludicrous on level that borders on mentally unstable. Your average American is not exactly the same as the person next to them or anyone else in the entire fucking world for that matter. So what makes you think that any "group" of people is going to be the same as another. We don't look the same. We don't believe the same things. We don't have the same experiences. So to believe that "the American family is an actual concept is fucking flawed to begin with.

You cannot make generalizations of that magnitude and expect everyone to fall under the umbrella of family values. Yet still we are bombarded by people who want to act as if  "the American family" actually exists. Like its a real family. And that family is under attack. That family's very existence is threatened by any number of things. The world is trying to take down the Cleaver family, according to these nut jobs. I have news for you dick wrinkles. You watch too much fucking television, and you need to join us in the present tense and stop living in your 50's television set.

Now I have looked at some of the things that people say destroy family values and it seems to me that all of them have to do with sex that isn't within a married context. Marriage between a man and a woman, that is. So fucking is what will destroy us.

As a nation, we will be destroyed by a penis going spelunking?

It is amazing that this most important thing that can "save" our fucking nation is so goddamned fragile. Its a fucking joke. You can tell me all you want to that two gays fucking or watching fucking on my computer screen is going to destroy a family but it just won't happen. the family concept is just that, a concept. it can be molded into a thousand different definitions, and is stronger than you shit lickers give it credit for. No, the family will still be around. Just not like you fuck biscuits wanna see it. THAT is what is really under attack.

I will just come out and say it. I am attacking your fundamentalist jackass view of what the family is. Fuck your preconceived notions. And most of all fuck you for thinking that you can pigeonhole the freedoms of the people into your little tiny fucking one-dimensional definition.

We as a nation are open to all sorts of things. To think that we can just line up into categories in order to preserve your bullshit opinion on on how life SHOULD be just makes me want to try even harder to destroy you. I want YOUR marriage to fail I want your kids to be gay and I want your whole fucking tradition to go up in flames. Because freedom is too important to put in the hands of closed minded politicians who don't know how to even communicate other than trying to scare us into subservience. Politics and fear have absolutely nothing to do with freedom.

This country will keep moving on without your fear mongering and your inability to adapt to the smallest change. Fuck you. Go die.

With deep and abiding affection,
Gabriel

Say it! Say the fucking words!

As you well know I have an immensely dirty mouth. Of course you know that. What the fuck is wrong with me? So I admit my use of words is not always acceptable to some and I know my use of punctuation is lacking. As I told Sami, just think of me as a pissed off e e cummings.

But one thing is certain. I do my absolute best to never misuse words. I try my hardest to never use a word incorrectly and I certainly don't make up words that don't exist. Unless you count fusing two swear words together.

First up is the word anniversary. It means a one year cycle has passed to mark an occasion. When people say that it is there week, or month, or day anniversary of being with someone I am driven absolutely crazy. Words have meanings fuckhead you cant just stick them wherever you want. just say you've been together for weeks or months or whatever its not that hard.

Same thing with the word irregardless. Now I understand the creation of a word to describe something that hasn't been described yet.I even understand the creation of words for something that already has another describing word. Synonyms are help to color our verbiage. But to use a word that is only 2 letters off from its original incarnation, and means the exact same thing is fucking ludicrous. Stop it.

There are several of these I could go into, but I wanna hit the meat of my hatred, and my hatred centers on one thing in this arena...

I am speaking of the use of text speak in the spoken word.

I understand why text speak came about. You have a limited number of characters in a given text to get your message to a friend, and typing whole words really fucking sucks. No one on earth really enjoys typing that much.

But speech doesn't take that long for fuck's sake. Just say the goddamned word. The next person who says jk to me or even worse the plural jks (pronounced jakes) is gonna get stabbed. I swear to fucking Christ, I will stab you right in the tongue so that lazy fucking mouth of yours suffers for its destruction of the language.

I am tired of this crap. I have to decipher enough fucking acronyms in my life, please don't add more. It isn't even as good as slang terms. Slang at least has some form of cleverness to it. But to make everything an acronym is just fucking irritating. You can say brb, just as fast as be right back. The words are better, I promise.

The best however,(and by best i mean worst) is lol or lmao. I have had this uttered in my presence countless times.

I just had to stop for a minute to collect myself because this drives me so fucking nuts I almost blacked out.

Lol means laughing out loud. Laughing is a sound. You type lol because the other person can't...hear you. If you are in my presence...THEN JUST FUCKING LAUGH YOU CUNT NUMBING FUCK WEASEL! What don't you people understand about this? Its just fucking lazy.

Look I understand that language changes all the time, but we should be trying to change it to make it more beautiful and intelligent, not less time consuming. That is really my only problem. I have a tremendous respect for language and words themselves. Please don't shit on them in my presence by spewing out your fucking half assed attempt to communicate with the world. 

All it says to me is that you don't wanna take the time to talk to me. And if that is the way you feel then just don't fucking talk to me. It will save you from being stabbed.

With deep and abiding affection,
Gabriel

P.S. It should also be noted that the spell check on my computer doesn't even recognize the text speak I typed. Suck it bitches. Even technology wants you to speak correctly.

P.P.S. Say what you want, but I believe swear words make our language more colorful and beautiful too.

Eco-stupid

First let me say that it isn't that I don't care about the environment. I do. I use the longer lasting light bulbs. I recycle cans. I conserve energy in the home. I try and not waste because it costs me fucking money. So I see that there is a reason for being green as they say. However that is the extent of my green. In both senses of the term.

Every time I hear about how I need to do more to save the earth I say, fuck you. The next person I hear who suggests driving a hybrid or more energy efficient car I am gonna kick them square in the fucking crotch. They always spout that idea like its the easiest fucking thing in the world to buy a car. OK I will just run out with the extra 30 grand in my pocket and buy a new fucking car. Fuck you people. Oh wait...30 isn't enough for some of them. No some of us have to be happy with the car we have. For some that is the bus.

Now maybe you can travel on the bus comfortably, but I cannot. Mostly because I have a face that makes the world wanna talk to me. When I rode the bus I consistently heard phrases spoken to me like..."you look trustworthy." followed by the craziest shit I have ever heard. One guy gave me his plan and his "research" on how to spin the earth the other way by placing jet engines on the equator. I swear to fucking Christ I am not making this up. No more buses for me.

The very height of green crazy is Eco terrorism. This is usually to describe the obsessive actions of a person who cares about the environment so much that they are willing to take drastic measures. Often, measures that cause harm to people and the planet. That is right they still harm the planet.

All over the country these vagina barnacles have started setting fire to housing projects.

I will repeat that.

THEY SET A GIANT FUCKING FIRE TO PROTEST THE DESTRUCTION OF THE PLANET!

Do these cock jockeys have any sense of fucking irony? "You know what? I don't like that they are tearing down the natural landscape to build luxury homes. So I think I will further global warming's effects on the planet by setting a huge fire." Not to mention they are setting fire to a wood structure. WOOD! You know, that stuff that grows on trees? Yeah that stuff that you are concerned about them cutting down to build more homes. Well guess what asswipe. They are just going to cut more down in order to build the homes anyway. And if they don't, you have still wasted an absolute fuck ton of natural resources. YOU HAVEN'T DONE SHIT TO SAVE THE PLANET YOU FUCKING ARSONIST PIECE OF SHIT CUNT LOOGIE!

The real problem is that to have any true effect on saving the planet we have to turn to those with the resources and the power to do real work. If you want people to drive cleaner cars either make the cars less expensive or start having the fucking ethanol pumps at my gas station. If you want cleaner fuel sources then put time and money into the effort of finding them. Fuck I mean get NASA on that shit. They aren't doing shuttle missions for a while. And people love when you say that shit is made by NASA. Just look at all the fuckers who bought those memory foam mattresses. But you can't just research the fuels and then say they are possible. You have to fucking make them useful and available to the public.

I see commercial after commercial for clean energy that we could be using. Well, where the fuck is it asswipe? Until we can get it in our own community, it isn't doing shit.

You want us to be green, dickhead? This is one of those problems that has to start from the top and make its way down. Because, guess what. We are already doing as much as we can down here.

With deep and abiding affection,
Gabriel