Sunday, May 8, 2011

oh so many things...

So I have been gone for awhile and have a few things to talk about. I just don't know where the fuck to begin. I have felt the icy grip of this blog wrap around me a few times and better things, inevitably, stop me from my appointed rounds. So where should I begin?

I will begin with the lighter stuff.

My dear friend Samantha, whom many of you know has guest blogged for me before told me a story of her knew soap company. It would seem that a potential customer wrote an email stating that they would not purchase her products but wanted to be given the knowledge of how to make them free of charge. Being the lovely woman that Sami is she told them they could get the knowledge of how to make soap from any library though she was well within her rights to tell this woman to go fuck herself with a loaded rifle.

Why is it that fucking idiots inevitably crawl out of the woodwork that they were hiding in, amongst there own filth and lunacy, to attempt to get shit for free. Its fucking ridiculous. You don't send emails to coca cola asking for their secret recipe because you don't wanna buy their expensive ass soda do you? Fuck no. They should be well within their rights to send you back a package that when opened, sprays you with cat feces from a small catapult shaped like a middle finger. Which if it could've been engineered I would have sent on Sami's behalf.

Now a little heavier topic.

As many of you are aware I have recently been fired from my job at an in home care company that took care of adults with autism. A job I held for years and turned my intestines into black goo with how much I hated being there. I have never written about them on this forum before because I don't shit on things that keep me housed and fed. Even if they don't do it very well. But they don't anymore. I will not name names I will not say the name of the company but its time I got some shit off my chest and was done with it.

Lets start at the end. I was fired because I administered a maneuver in defense of myself against an autistic adult who was slapping at me and made the move to bite me. The maneuver was deemed excessive force even though no harm came to the client and no marks were left. I have come to terms with what has happened but there are a few underlying currents that I wanna yell about.

The company taught us a form of self defense which they called CPI (crisis prevention and intervention) this was a training designed for us to work with those participants who were having behaviors in a reasonable fashion and how to physically interfere with them harming themselves or others safely. Which is good...If it wasn't the absolute worst fucking piece of horse smegma training ever to be conceived by mankind.

The class was given every year with mandatory attendance. It was a point of pride with the company that no one has ever gotten out of the class by demonstrating that they still knew all of the information.

So we set up a fucking system where the employees are encouraged to forget what the fuck we are talking about over the course of a year. A training I remind you that is designed to FUCKING KEEP PEOPLE SAFE!

Now I don't give a shit how stupid you are. If you can't figure out that the tools to keep people safe should be drilled into their heads every fucking day they go to work you shouldn't be allowed to be in charge of those people. No one who takes martial arts or shoots a firearm or protects other people professionally, practices the skills and tenants of that necessary knowledge YEARLY! You fucking illiterate douchebags! That is a daily test people should be drilled, they should be practicing, they should be taught what to do every second of every situation and they should be taught to improvise for every situation possible accounting for atmosphere, bystanders, terrain and mental acuity of the opponent as well as a whole host of other things.

But no the scroteless monkeys of bureaucracy whittled down a defensive training course to 6 hours every year. using a host of reasoning tools that can't even be executed. Tell me how am I supposed to divine what is bothering my client when he is fucking non verbal? Some would say passdowns and observation is the answer to that question, but there are several times I went into work and was told everything had been hunky dory that day and then an hour later I am in an all out brawl with an angry client.

And just because one maneuver works on a group of people doesn't mean its going to work every time. they teach you that if a client grabs your hair in the front you are to drop down low and push the knuckles of the offending hand into your skull to loosen the hand and then pull back when their grip is sufficiently loosened. Well what if that doesn't work? Because that only works if they have the base of the hair follicles, not the end of your hair for those with longer hair. There is no answer in there text about that.

For the longest time if you were being bitten the answer to that was to reach your finger under the biters nose and rub the septum back and forth to irritate them into letting go. Who the fuck thinks of such an intricate maneuver when you're being fucking bitten! Then they changed it to feed the bite. Shove more of your extremity into there mouth in order to open their jaw. Well what if they are biting soft skin like a woman's breast or they bite just an inch of skin on my arm? No answer to that either? How about a maneuver to prevent the bite?

How about that fuckers? How about you giving me the fucking tools I needed to defend myself without having to take physical damage? How about preparing your fucking people with a system that works and evolves instead of leaving me high and dry for a month and a half with no job and no prospects for social service jobs ever again in my life because I made a fucking mistake in a situation that you fucks never prepared me for?

You heartless gasbags. You cuntless inhuman shitfucking assholes. And don't fucking deign to tell me you are sorry it had to go this way. That you were doing your job. That you had to be "honest". And don't you ever tell me you miss me being at that job. There were options. There were things that could have been done to prevent me from making the mistake in the first place. There were actions that could have been taken to prevent me from losing my job after the incident and there were certainly thing you could have done in order to prevent me from being denied unemployment benefits.

Fuck you! I hope the next several people who get hurt or fired come to me for guidance because I would certainly tell them the best course of action would be to bring your whole simpering piece of shit organization down. Until then keep burying your heads in the sand and pretending you give a shit about your clients when all you are really concerned with is how your fucking gonna maintain your online farm during office hours while I sit here worried about how I'm gonna make it through the next billing cycle.

Eat shit and die!

With deep and abiding affection,

P.S.  If your answer on how to prevent the bite was to clear out of the situation or back off as it were. What if I am backed into a corner? What if there are others around that could easily be struck by the angry participant? Every answer you give to my questions only spawns more questions. And eventually your limited ass training will run out of answers and the person defending themselves will be either hurt tremendously or be fired. Thank you for playing "Your Life Isn't Worth Shit." Sponsored by a bunch of spineless office bound fuckheads.