I am positive.

So a huge revelation occurred a few days ago. It began with a phone call from a friend to go apply for a job. Which I did. It continued with an interview that went very well and I am currently waiting for the results on. What is the subject I am talking about today? Support. Something that recently I came into with great abundance.

Now I have always been supported by my family and that in itself some consider a fucking miracle. A lot of people don't have that. But since i am used to it I have kind of taken it for granted. Which is wrong. My parents have supported me so much that I owe them about 6 lives now. My brother is pretty much the same story.

What I realized that I had now but didn't before were people who supported without judgement.

No offense to my oldest friends who support me in all my endeavors but in their need to care it comes with the question..."Are you sure this is the right thing to do Gabriel?" I know they love me and I know that they are watching out. But I am 32 years old and have been around a little bit. I am not a total fucking moron. I love you guys too. Just tone it down.

What I have seen in the past few days has blown my fucking mind. When the job opportunity came around, from a woman who is trying very hard to get me different employment, I have friends old and new telling me that it is fantastic that I am going out for this job. There were no added phrases like, "well if you had been really looking you would have found a different job already." There was no apathy to my situation. No snide remarks no questioning of my choice. Nothing but pure love from people I have only known a short time.

This post was intended to be an angry diatribe about how I felt cheated that this didn't exist before. But with a little help from the watcher in the thicket, and one of the most insightful and beautiful women I have ever known, my rantings and ravings have shifted to celebration.

It doesn't matter why it wasn't there before. What matters is that it's here now and it is not going anywhere.

To all of you who have supported me in the past and the present...Mom, Dad, Christopher, Penny, Hayley, Athene, Patty and Philip DoAne, Calvin, Sean Raybell, Josh, Ron, Sam, Bill, Jessann, Steve and Erin, Stephen Borsuk, Kate Holland, and now Sami and the Bruce, Maria, Bob and Carla, Hally, Marcus Walker, Scott Campbell, Brie, Kat Inserra, my zombie zebra Kayti, Anna Baskett, to anyone else who reads this blog fervently without my knowledge, But mostly to Kate L. (While all these people are shining stars in my life...you dearest are the sun.) I love and cherish all of you. You keep me going through life without even trying. Just by being in my life I am a better person.

With deep and abiding affection,
Gabriel