Our winner asked me very simply if I had done a rant on flash mobs. This one I can feel the heat from certain folks I know who do flash mobs. But in earlier posts I have taken no mercy on saying exactly what I feel so I cannot in good conscience do the same thing here no matter who hates me for my opinion.
That being said...I fucking hate flash mobs. I have never seen one in person. I have never participated in one. The concept of them sorta angers me. I understand that the concept is fun to execute and that your intended arena gives people something to look at outside of their daily grind...OK I get that part. What I don't get is the failure on the part of these mobs to understand a basic fundamental part of theatre. Understanding your audience.
Now I have seen certain groups do flash mobs that sounded fun and caused a good time for those watching. Improv Everywhere based in NYC is pretty good about doing shit that is not very disruptive. But I have seen whole mobs do dance routines in a department store. A fucking department store! Who the fuck does that? If I take the time to go out shopping I either want to enjoy the shopping process or I want to get the fuck in and get the fuck out. I don't need 300 jackoff, cum guzzling, fuck biscuits dancing to whatever half assed no talent cunt with half a voice made the fucking billboard charts for 5 minutes while I am trying to get through my fucking day.
The issue is conformity. The first flash mob was designed as an experiment to make fun of social conformity. To make fun of those people who need to belong to some group. Now they have become the perfect vehicle for those who belong to make some show of force in the fucking world. Imagine everywhere huge cliques of people you hated in high school showing up and ruining your fucking day.
Even worse are the flash mobs that deign to put an element of fun into your day and just violate peoples space. Such as pillow fight day. Imagine walking down the street when 5000 people just start pillow fighting all around you. Now I don't care how fun that sounds. If you aren't a part of it you have just been included in a giant puffy ambush. And lets not fucking forget the word fight is right in the title. You are unwittingly made a part of a big free for all fight. Which if just one person is in the wrong mood the whole thing can go from fluffy pillow fight, to actual fight, to big ass fucking riot.
Long before this idiotic and played out trend started there were protests and groups of people that organised and even those well thought out groups and organized parties still turned to shit. peaceful protests turn to riots too. And they weren't thought out in 20 minutes.
I know that being so far afield from these may cause people to believe that I am just a jackass who pisses on the good time of others who are just trying to express themselves. And I am. Get the fuck out of my way you useless pricks! Other people who want to perform find venues and places where an audience can choose to go see you. If no one wants to go see you perform. Those are the fucking breaks. Find a new hobby.
And If you need to flash mob. Be fucking creative and non disruptive. Because if I get hit by a pillow on a walk downtown or cant to the section of the store I need because 500 people in gold pants are dancing in my way. I just might start start punching people.
With deep and aiding affection,
Gabriel
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