To all of you who read last nights blog and then contacted me personally I would like to thank you for your worry and just say this...Are you fucking insane? I tell you people to wish me well and you actually contact me to do it? I just finished saying that i was willing to cause random acts of violence so the first thing you fucking geniuses do is contact me. You fuckers probably run towards the sound of gunfire too. Fucking hell!
Now for my real topics. I have recently been yelled at for not answering my phone or text messages.
Again I ask, what the fuck is wrong with these people? The phone is a tool nothing more and I will use mine how I see fit. Just because I go out and buy a hammer doesn't mean I have to use the fucking thing all the damn time.
And yet for some, their phone is their life they must always be connected. You know it wasn't that long ago that the only phone you had was in your house, and it most of the time was attached to an answering machine. If you weren't home you missed the call and maybe they left a message. Now people act like I have raped their mother if I don't answer my phone. Just because the fucking thing is with me doesn't mean I wanna talk you prick maggots. Fuck off, and leave a message.
And lastly I am sick to death of the ridiculous trend of making words cuter. This is my real problem the past few days. I have heard a number of words made cuter by shortening them and it drives me fucking nuts.
Ms. Racheal Ray can choke on a horse cock if I have to hear her say sammies instead of sandwiches anymore. Its not cute its irritating. Along with the other food network bitch, who gives a fuck what her name is, who had an entire show where she made chicken drumsticks. But could we leave it at that? No. She must have said the phrase "yummy chicken drummies" at least 50 times. By the end I was going to stab her in the eye with a sharpened bone.
This is a continued plea to re-lengthen our vocabularies. You sound like jackasses when you say these things. its not cute from you. If a 4 year old said it I would accept it. But you are a fucking adult. You sound like a dipshit. Talk to me like an adult. Not like I am somehow too stupid to understand big people words you condescending smegma lickers.
Yeah I know I sound like an old man telling you to get off his lawn but I don't give a porcupines left ball. You can't expect me to be clever all the time.
With deep and abiding affection,