Monday, October 18, 2010

hello all

I have been pretty pressed for time because I am moving this week but it isn't fair to keep you all waiting for a new post. The only problem is that I haven't had time to think about anything to to talk about. My eyes have not really been open to the outside world.

This week has been all about action rather than talking. Something I haven't been very good at in my life. But I am beginning to grow an understanding about what it means to be an action person...its expensive.

I hate money and I hate spending money and I hate having to have a job to get money. I hate any system that forces me to do something. The phrase I hate most in life is "have to" The minute someone says I have to do something I shut down. Fuck that! The one saving grace I should get from being an adult is that I should be able to do whatever I fucking want without some ass dumpling getting in my way.

Even worse is when i say it to myself. When I make a list of things I have to do is when you see me at my most frustrated. Moving to a new place has brought this out of me even more. I could've been completely packed days ago but I did other things to avoid the "have to" issue.

Anyhow, It isn't really feasible to have a rant about the fact that I want to do what I want when I want. That is every one's goal. I guess it just means I am frazzled and feeling out of my element. But I have a saving grace. This Wednesday is my birthday and I have asked my friend the Bruce to blog for me and get out his anger at a topic. Perhaps his particular brand of poison will help refresh my batteries and bring me new things to rage about. Until then I "have to" get to work.

With deep and abiding affection,

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