First of all I would like to say thank you Sami for both filling in and doing such a marvelous job. I appreciate how you were willing to help me in my absence and you did a fantastic performance as usual. So good in fact that one might believe you were trying to replace me on my own blog. I mean what kind of bitchy fucking thing is that to do to a guy? What the fuck I ask you for a favor and you stab me in the back by doing a good job and making me look like a fucking retarded asshole?! Fuck You!
You see what I did there? I just berated someone and tried to make them feel bad because I felt inferior. Except I didn't really. Sami please forgive me for making you the subject of my object lesson. your work was admirable and I am proud to consider you a fellow pirate.
Guilt is what I am aiming to fuck with today. You see 3 days ago I was berated for the content of this blog by someone close to me. And I felt so bad that I had to enter a post that made me sound like a sniveling fuckwad. I contemplated deleting it immediately. But then I used it to be able to say what i am going to say today.
First of all fuck you people. I write what I want, when I want, and how I want and it isn't any of your fucking business to tell me different. I consider myself to be nothing more than a performer attempting to get laughs and create a spectacle. Also to lessen actual rage in my life. You want to lay a guilt trip on me? How about you assess what the fuck makes you think you know any better. You don't know any secret formula for a life well lived. So don't fucking pretend to know how to govern mine.
Second of all, guilt is the most fucking irritating form of manipulation you can imagine. Some douche cock wants to tell you how to live by either putting your ass down or by putting themselves down so you feel bad. The latter is the douchiest of the two. Usually performed by mothers and wives its the simpler form of how to get you to do some activity or act a certain way. It is low and underhanded. You can't slap these people upside the head for doing it, and that is a shame. Because they deserve it. You can't even fight that kind of battle. No matter your tactic you end up looking like the biggest assface on the planet. Yet you know that isn't true. So you do what they want.
Well I am here to tell you that anyone who employs that tactic is actually the biggest assface on the planet and deserves to be told to go fuck themselves with a lit candle! And if it makes you look like a dick? That is not the worst thing in the world to be.
The former type of guilt is just fucking rude. Grow the fuck up! YOU AREN'T BETTER THAN ANYONE!
You are not entitled to tell anyone how to live. So fuck off!
The truth is that I let it get to me, because I am a fallible idiot like everyone else. Well no more of that shit. If you don't get the point I am trying to make, ask me about it. I am perfectly willing to spell it out for you. Otherwise fuck off and figure it out for yourself.
With deep and abiding affection,
P.S. I liked Sami filling in for me. It felt good to give someone the forum to talk about what they want and how they wanted. There will be more of that in the future. Also as soon as I hit thirty-one posts that will be a month straight of blogging. So I will be moving to a thrice weekly format. For those of you who don't know what thrice means...fuck you! I just can't keep the same level of rage every day. Its too hard. Gotta let it build up. And fuck you once more for good measure.