Monday, September 6, 2010

You too fellas. Fuck you too!

Men are secretly giant pussies with no self confidence. We have to be. Its the only way to explain why we act the way we do. All the machismo all the fucking bravado. Its a cover up for the fact that we are all whiny douchebags who are scared of being judged harshly.

Otherwise you can't explain the hummer. Anything like that has to be more deep seeded than just fear of a small dick. This also explains about how 60%  of wars start. And the treatment of gays women and minorities.

Yeah women like to feel superior through false bravado and conjecture too, but men have it down to a science. We should though. We invented science. The difference however, is that women have fought to move their social standing towards something. I just think they could have chosen better than to be fucking equal to us. Men haven't strived to make ourselves better in any way. We are constantly acting like idiots when we don't need to be. Not in the dumb husband way, seen on TV, but in the I am afraid to be seen as something less than a man way.

For example. I don't work on cars, I am not a huge fan of sports. I like sports but am not a huge fan. I don't have any desire to drive a truck. I fucking hate the outdoors, so no camping or fishing or hunting for me. Now in some men's eyes I have just stated implicitly that I am not a man. Which is bullshit.

I am a theatre actor and took dance for four years. Every man I knew labeled me as a prancer. But you know what guys? I got way more pussy then my guy friends at that time so fuck you! And I didn't have to kill or tackle or fix anything. Sorry even I am prone to this bullshit every now and again. Fuck!

George Carlin once said that the reason bullets and rockets and guns are all shaped like dicks is because it is a subconscious desire to project your penis into other peoples affairs. Its called fucking with people.

And he is right. Men are terrified that we will be found out. That it will be discovered that we aren't tough or powerful that we are really just human beings, prone to the same rules as everyone else. So we prove our manliness to the world by pointing our dicks at things. It isn't a size issue. Guys with giant dicks still poke around at things.

Where does it come from? Who knows. It is too far back for me to figure it out. All I know is that we have to do something about it guys. We have to stop being fucking douchebags and grow the fuck up. I am tired of being lumped into the same category with a bunch of fucking mono synaptic assclowns running around in circles trying to prove they are bigger or faster or better at something. Its time to stop this.

Do I think we will though? Absolutely not. Sadly your dealing with a group of people who still think the words fart and boner are funny.

Fuck! I guess we are that stupid.

With deep and abiding affection,

P.S. I am going on vacation tomorrow and will not be blogging. So to keep with my perfect record of one blog a day I have asked my good friend Samantha Camp to ghost write tomorrows topic. What will she write about? I have no fucking idea. But I am sure it will be filled with wonderful things to be angry about. Slit some throats Samantha! I will be back on Wednesday.

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