Say it! Say the fucking words!

As you well know I have an immensely dirty mouth. Of course you know that. What the fuck is wrong with me? So I admit my use of words is not always acceptable to some and I know my use of punctuation is lacking. As I told Sami, just think of me as a pissed off e e cummings.

But one thing is certain. I do my absolute best to never misuse words. I try my hardest to never use a word incorrectly and I certainly don't make up words that don't exist. Unless you count fusing two swear words together.

First up is the word anniversary. It means a one year cycle has passed to mark an occasion. When people say that it is there week, or month, or day anniversary of being with someone I am driven absolutely crazy. Words have meanings fuckhead you cant just stick them wherever you want. just say you've been together for weeks or months or whatever its not that hard.

Same thing with the word irregardless. Now I understand the creation of a word to describe something that hasn't been described yet.I even understand the creation of words for something that already has another describing word. Synonyms are help to color our verbiage. But to use a word that is only 2 letters off from its original incarnation, and means the exact same thing is fucking ludicrous. Stop it.

There are several of these I could go into, but I wanna hit the meat of my hatred, and my hatred centers on one thing in this arena...

I am speaking of the use of text speak in the spoken word.

I understand why text speak came about. You have a limited number of characters in a given text to get your message to a friend, and typing whole words really fucking sucks. No one on earth really enjoys typing that much.

But speech doesn't take that long for fuck's sake. Just say the goddamned word. The next person who says jk to me or even worse the plural jks (pronounced jakes) is gonna get stabbed. I swear to fucking Christ, I will stab you right in the tongue so that lazy fucking mouth of yours suffers for its destruction of the language.

I am tired of this crap. I have to decipher enough fucking acronyms in my life, please don't add more. It isn't even as good as slang terms. Slang at least has some form of cleverness to it. But to make everything an acronym is just fucking irritating. You can say brb, just as fast as be right back. The words are better, I promise.

The best however,(and by best i mean worst) is lol or lmao. I have had this uttered in my presence countless times.

I just had to stop for a minute to collect myself because this drives me so fucking nuts I almost blacked out.

Lol means laughing out loud. Laughing is a sound. You type lol because the other person can't...hear you. If you are in my presence...THEN JUST FUCKING LAUGH YOU CUNT NUMBING FUCK WEASEL! What don't you people understand about this? Its just fucking lazy.

Look I understand that language changes all the time, but we should be trying to change it to make it more beautiful and intelligent, not less time consuming. That is really my only problem. I have a tremendous respect for language and words themselves. Please don't shit on them in my presence by spewing out your fucking half assed attempt to communicate with the world. 

All it says to me is that you don't wanna take the time to talk to me. And if that is the way you feel then just don't fucking talk to me. It will save you from being stabbed.

With deep and abiding affection,
Gabriel

P.S. It should also be noted that the spell check on my computer doesn't even recognize the text speak I typed. Suck it bitches. Even technology wants you to speak correctly.

P.P.S. Say what you want, but I believe swear words make our language more colorful and beautiful too.