Monday, August 30, 2010

Religion part 4: The book of Gabreality

The Icelandic people have the myth of the hidden people. A group of little elves living in the rocks and other natural places. this in itself is a cute little story until you learn that entire highways and buildings have to have a special surveyor there to see if the project is going to upset the habitat of the hidden people. Should it affect their habitat then you are not cleared to build there. The country has had several surveys taken and the people who thought there existence was possible was at 31% in 2006. That is just belief in "possible". There were 16.5 % who said it was likely and 8% who were certain of hidden people existence. Even the surveyors noted that most people would neither confirm nor deny an existence of hidden people.

Now most of you are thinking this is a fascinating culture but there is no possible way that this can be true. Really elves living in the rocks and trees? That is ridiculous. If that were true that place would be swimming in cookies. So Icelanders are, for the most part, fucking crazy.

Now If I started on the Mormon philosophy or the preaching of Scientology or the teachings of Jehovah's Witnesses. Your reactions would be exactly the same. Those fuckers are fucking crazy.

So why is it impossible for some of you people out there to accept that other people think you are insane for believing in an omnipresent being who created the earth in 6 days then took a nap? Why is that so hard? Religious tolerance is what you expect from everyone and yet you don't have the courtesy to even allow for the thought of hidden people in your garden outside. At its very core religion keeps you bound to one set of rules. No matter what, different religious thoughts and philosophies are going to disagree. Yet disagreements in religion are so volatile that we fight each other over them. And for what? For fucking NOTHING that's what.

So hear is the gospel of Gabreality:

Shut your fucking mouth!

Your opinion doesn't hold water. It means less than shit. Believe in unicorns if you want. Believe in Norse and Greek mythologies if you want. Just shut up about it. There are literally a million things to talk about that don't end up with someone wanting to beat the shit out of you for questioning their belief.

After all, it says in the book of Matthew:

6:1 “Be careful not to display your righteousness merely to be seen by people. Otherwise you have no reward with your Father in heaven.

6:5 “Whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, because they love to pray while standing in synagogues and on street corners so that people can see them. Truly I say to you, they have their reward.

6:6 But whenever you pray, go into your room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father, who sees in secret, will reward you.


There are people who I have known for years. I still don't know what their beliefs are. It hasn't affected my friendship with them in any way.

If you wanna talk about religion, ask the people around you if that is an acceptable subject of conversation. Then don't take any disagreements personally. Unless you are at church then you shouldn't have to ask.
Speaking of which, stop inviting me to your church. I don't wanna go. I will literally just create havoc because you invited me in. It's what I do. It's how I stay sane. Besides I won't change my mind.
Lastly, if you take away anything I have said in this entire blog, please let it be that you are not better than anyone else. You are not the chosen people of god. You are not the light of the world. Despite what you think, you are one of us. One of the regular people. Despite fame, money, or abilities you are just a human being. That is all I am. Just another stupid fuckass in my way who can't drive properly. Which is all that I am to the person behind me on the road.
With deep and abiding affection,


  1. Amen brother! Preach on! Love you cuz :)

  2. I LOVE that you quote the Bible in this one. Preach it!!!!