Who asked you?

That's right, "Who asked you?" That is my question today.

I was musing today on past events in my life and I remembered there were several times that religion has come forcefully into my purview. No, I don't mean the fuckers who show up on your doorstep. I mean those people who think that god bless you is an acceptable way to say goodbye to someone.

I once asked a man that i was serving when I worked at an ice cream shop how he was doing, a normal question to ask...his response: "Absolutely wonderful i love life love my kids and i love Jesus!"

I am going to pause for a moment and let that sink in...............Now when did I ask that question? When did I ask the do you love Jesus question? Never mind the fact I didn't ask him if he loved his kids. I sorta assumed that. He was buying them ice cream, for fucks sake!

I understand the notion of freedom of speech. I do. I use it frequently to say "fuck you, you fucking fucks!" often. But its not part of my introduction. People need to fucking realize random acts of sharing are uncomfortable in any situation. No, I don't care what religion you belong to. No, I don't care who you went out with last night. I don't give a shit what your political beliefs are.You know why? Because, this is my first interaction with you and may be the only one I get, let's make it as painless as possible.

This is the root of why bumper stickers,license plate frames, car decals and buttons with political, religious, or non humorous overtones anger me. Do you assume we don't know who is running for office? Do you assume I have no idea who Jesus or the virgin Mary are?

Just as a side note can we please stop referring to her as the virgin Mary? Even if you are a believer it is ridiculous to believe she stayed that way. I am willing to bet she didn't stay a virgin the rest of her life and there are other titles we can bestow. Jesus' mother would be a fine title.

But I digress...

Keep it to yourself is what I'm saying. There are rules for polite conversation and one of them should be that until I know you well enough or ask directly, you keep your beliefs and your predilections to yourself. And I will do my best to keep mine to myself, and keep my swearing to a minimum.

So in that vain attempt to convince a minority of people to see things my way, I say that the don't ask don't tell policy be amended. It should not apply to gays. It should apply to your personal beliefs.

As in: I didn't ask. So don't fucking tell me.

After all I haven't met a gay person yet who says when asked "hows it going?" they say, " I sucked the biggest cock last night!"

Have a lovely day.

With deep and abiding affection,
Gabriel